Patience is one of nine virtues found in Galatians 5:22-23: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” We also discover that patience is listed first among the love qualities found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” The New Bible Dictionary defines patience as “God-given restraint in the face of opposition or oppression.”
From time-to-time, we all struggle with the need to exercise patience. Patience comes from God, and His Spirit is the means of this very desirable fruit. The following article by Dr. Scott Turansky will help you practice patience and teach your children its value.
Patience is a virtue but few children understand what that means. Young children want it now and resort to all kinds of attention-getting tactics to get it. Badgering is that tenacious way children ask the same question over and over again. And then there’s the whining. It can drive even the most healthy person crazy.
Children need to learn how to wait for things. It’s a reality they’ll face all of their lives. They may as well start now. Children tend to live for the present. One mom of a ten-year-old said, “My daughter found out that she had a large school project due in two weeks. Instead of thinking about starting the job right away, she assumed that meant she had 13 days before she needed to begin.”
One of the ways we help children learn patience is to teach them how to wait. They may not be able to wait long at first but the idea of waiting doesn’t have to be like a foreign language. “Could I have a snack?” “Well, it’s 2:30 now. Let’s have a snack at 3:00.”
Sometimes children will try to interrupt your conversation on the phone, or your interaction with someone else. One mom said, “I’ve told my son that if I’m on the phone and he wants to talk with me, that he can come over and gently put his hand on my arm to communicate that he wants to talk to me. I will either pause from my conversation to talk to him briefly or sometimes I’ll just put my hand on his, communicating that I know he’s waiting.”
Talk to children about the maturity involved in waiting. You might define the character quality in practical ways that your children can understand. Patience is waiting with a happy heart. Or, patience knows that good things come to those who can wait.
Realize that the resistance your children exhibit to your “patience training” exercises is just the confirmation that they need to learn this valuable quality. They don’t need harshness, but firm limits are good for children. Your work in this area will help them be more successful as they grow. Start with small changes. Demanding children are unhappy children and indulging them rarely brings about peace. What they really need to learn is patience.
Children Need To Know
Children of God trust the Spirit of God (Romans 8:14). Christ-following children can learn to walk in the Spirit moment-by-moment. They do this as they are taught to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide them in thought, word, and deed (Romans 6:11-14). Children can discover and be encouraged to know they are walking in the Spirit when their lives reveal the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control).
- If they are Christ-followers, they are children of God (Galatians 3:26-27)
- To walk in the Spirit (Romans 8:4)
- To set their minds on the things of the Spirit (Romans 8:5)
- To be led by the Spirit (Romans 8:14)
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