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This is part 10 in a 12 part Series on D.I.S.C.I.P.L.E.S.H.I.P. – Twelve Tips to help you become a more effective discipler of children.

“Imitation is the Highest Form of Flattery.”

One of the things my father often said to me was, “Son, I want you to watch my life. When you see my acting like Christ – so as I do. When you see my not acting like Christ, please don’t follow in my footsteps, but learn from my mistakes.” He never pretended to be a perfect father – he was real. He was my primary discipler, as every father ought to be. (Duet. 6) I had other disciplers who did the same thing. They coached me through how Jesus would want me to respond in different situations, and they opened their lives to me sharing with me their own struggles and obstacles and the choices they were facing, and how they were going to address them, from Scripture, through prayer – even asking me at times what I thought God would have them do! Asking me, the disciplee! Read the rest of this entry »

This is part 10 in a 12 part Series on D.I.S.C.I.P.L.E.S.H.I.P. – Twelve Tips to help you become a more effective discipler of children. Read the rest of this entry »

This is part 9 in a 12 part Series on D.I.S.C.I.P.L.E.S.H.I.P. – Twelve Tips to help you become a more effective discipler of children.

Discipleship is not an event… it is a process, and in the context of discipling people, it is important to view it in terms of relationship not as a project. Read the rest of this entry »

This is part 8 in a 12 part Series on D.I.S.C.I.P.L.E.S.H.I.P. – Twelve Tips to help you become a more effective discipler of children.

When you are discipling a young person – they will only rise as far as you expect them to. This doesn’t mean they won’t fall short of your hopes and dreams, they often will. But I’ve never seen a student exceed my expectations. In short, “Expect Little, Get Little; Expect Much, Get Much.”

Most young people have a low opinion of themselves, you can be their greatest encourager to exceed the expectations of everyone in their life, except you. If you think more of them than they think of themselves, you can have the power to help lift them to the next level on their Christian journey! You can challenge them to surprise those who don’t think they can excel. And for those who are achievers and confident in their abilities, you can challenge them to even greater levels of accomplishment.

As a young man, I was given a passion for Scripture memory by my junior department superintendent, Helen Reed, who is now with the Lord. She had a chart that seemed to wrap around the room, and with her “I think you can do it” whispered in my ear, my goal in life was to get a star in every square by memorizing all the verses. For those who criticize external motivations for children, all I can say is I’m glad my teachers believed in them! Or I would have never memorized the hundreds of verses I did nor would I have the grasp of Scripture I have today, even if I have lost most of the references and can’t “quote” them all word for word any longer. So when it came to Scripture memory, I knew that was an area of strength and that I had memorized more of the Bible than most people by the time I got into high school. As a result, I either already knew the verses my class was studying, or I could learn it quickly with little work. While my high school discipler, Ralph Hines, could have just complimented me on my knowledge of Scripture and focused on challenging me elsewhere, instead, he was barely impressed and said once, “I’ll be impressed when you memorize an entire book. That’s what the early believers and scholars did, and it will make a profound impact on you.” He started assigning me chapters to memorize and often hinted that the next level was memorizing an entire book of the Bible. It was all the challenge I needed. That thought stuck in my head for several years until finally in my freshman year of college I memorized the book of James. And a profound impact it indeed made leading me to memorize other books and chunks of Scripture.

My point is NOT about “me” – is about the need to expect more of our students and challenge them to the next level in their spiritual walk. Scripture memory is just one area, and it is a knowledge area – there are many other arena worth challenging, especially those that deal with “real life.” Witnessing to a friend, stepping up to a position of leadership, submitting to their controlling parents, reconciling with a friend or forgiving someone who hurt them, taking on a challenging project, or starting a ministry. There have been many times in my life when God has brought people into my life to challenge me. They expected more of me than I expected of myself, and with renewed confidence I took steps of faith and action that I otherwise probably wouldn’t have. YOU can be that person in the lives of those you disciple!

Prayerfully seek how you can challenge them. Do not accept poor performance or a mediocre walk with Christ. Learn their skills and passions and then expect them to step out in faith and trust God to do in and through them what they otherwise would never think of doing. You can share in the fruit that their life will produce! Do not merely seek to get through discipleship materials or to walk with them in their journey. God may have placed you in their life specifically to prod them toward His will for their life! What an awesome and humbling responsibility! Do it with gentleness, but firmness; with sensitivity to the Spirit’s leading, but with boldness.

Dare them to go where they have never gone before. That is what truly brings excitement to the Christian Life!

This is part 7 in a 12 part Series on D.I.S.C.I.P.L.E.S.H.I.P. – Twelve Tips to help you become a more effective discipler of children.

There isn’t a discipler who wouldn’t say they love their students and what more than anything for them to feel loved and KNOW that they are loved, unconditionally, just as they are. But what does it truly mean to show unconditional love? And how do you show love like this?

It starts by understanding how God loves us.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. – Romans 5:6-8

Think about it – God did not wait for you to get your act together, to start being good, until you started being religious, to save you. You save you while you were a mess and completely undeserving of his attention, let along his mercy and grace. He loved you when you were unlovable. And he STILL LOVES YOU no matter what. Years ago I saw a T-shirt my friend Steve Greer was selling at CPC. They said:

NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, GOD LOVES YOU.

I still have my t-shirt (I think that was around 1995 when I got it!) and every time I put it on it makes me smile. Whew. God loves ME, of all people. Pretty amazing stuff. OK, so God loves me, after you get over your shock, you might ask, but what’s that have to do with your disciples?

EVERYTHING.

Just as you disappoint the Lord regularly (I was being nice by not saying every day!) so your students, or disciples, will disappoint you. They will leave church. They will take up smoking. They will get pregnant. They will get into witchcraft. They will be victims of this sinful world. They will shock you, disappoint you and at time break your heart. Many others, perhaps even most, will escape much of this in large part BECAUSE you discipled them. But there will be some who disappoint you. And when they do, all you need to do to keep loving them, believing in them, and investing in them…. is to look in the mirror.

If God hasn’t given up on you, there is no reason to give up on those you are discipling. And if you think you’re pretty good – you may have a rude awakening coming your way. We all will fail the Lord in a wide variety of ways. But the good news is, HE will never cast you off. Friends may. Christians will. But the God who laid there unflinching when the nails were pounded in, will never give up on you!

DISCIPLESHIP IS NOT ABOUT MAKING PERFECT KIDS, IT IS ABOUT INTRODUCING THEM TO A PERFECT LOVE THAT WILL NOT FAIL THEM.

In fact, many kids will never truly believe in the Goodness of God until after they have failed and experienced grace and forgiveness and unconditional love. From you.

So teach them doctrine. Have them memorize Scripture. Help them understand the Bible and navigate it with confidence. Show them how to live a godly life. But above all else, let them know that you love them and that there is NOTHING they can do to damage that love. Friendship, perhaps. Trust, certainly. But love? Never.

If you are serious about discipling kids, your love WILL be put to the test. But I figure, I test God’s love every day, and He always passes with flying colors. So I will do the same with those who disappoint me, hurt me, or fall short of what I hope or expect of them. I will forgive and love and let God do His work in His time.

Just as He is doing with me.