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The story continues… (from part 1)

Within two days, I was able to catch up with the girl that I hadn’t had time for. I was so busy “ministering” to all of the kids that I didn’t have time to actually “reach” one child.

I started the conversation by saying, “I’m so sorry that I didn’t connect with you on Wednesday. What you are thinking about is very important to me. Is there any chance that you still remember the question that you wanted to ask me?”

She was wide-eyed. “I can’t believe you remembered, she said. That was like, DAYS ago.” (It was only 2 days, but still she was glad that I remembered.)

I was prepared for any type of question she might ask from “What kind of toothpaste do you use?” to “Can we sing a different song next week?”)

“Oh, ya. She continued. Um, I know that Jesus died on the cross to save us, but WHY is that what God (the Father) wanted him to do? Why was that the price he had to pay?”

WOW! I was so glad that I didn’t miss this opportunity to share this with her.

I shared the scripture with her and followed up with a letter so that she could look it up for herself.

Here are my questions:

1) Are you willing to admit to the kids in your ministry that you have messed up? That you’ve missed a very important chance to connect with them?

2) If we (our ministry teams) had the ability to follow up like this with every child in our ministries, what would disipleship look like in our churches? How would this affect the “Church” at large?

3) Do you agree with the following statement: “When it comes to discipleship, relationship is everything.”

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Let me ask you a few questions related to children at your church, and the Bible. After each, please pause and reflect on the answer.

RE: Children and the Bible

• Do your children bring their Bibles to church?
• Do your children USE their Bibles at church?
• Are Bibles needed by your children during your programs?
• Do you have Bibles available for children who don’t bring or have one?
• Are there a bunch of battered, torn, and coverless Bibles laying around your church?
• When is the last time you saw a child reading their Bible on their own?
• When is the last time you saw a child reading the Bible?
• Do your lower elementary children know the books of the Bible by memory?
• Can your upper elementary children look up a Bible verse without help or the table of contents?
• Do you have any children who have marked up, underlined and well worn (from use) Bibles?

RE: YOU and the Bible

• Do you read your Bible often? (outside of lesson preparation)
• Do you use a real Bible when you teach? (other than as a prop you hold up)
• Are your lessons birthed out of the Word, or out of a box or disc?
• If all Bibles in America were banned and confiscated, but any electronic version or use was still allowed, would there be any noticeable change in your lessons and/or program?
• Do you have a marked up, underlined and well worn (from use) Bible?

These questions are meant to stimulate thought, not guilt - though my asking gives away a serious concern I have with what I would call the growing Bibleless Trend in Children’s Ministry.

I travel to many churches as a guest speaker or trainer and am very often stunned by how little need there is for Bibles in most children’s ministries. I consider teaching with and out of a Bible to be the FUNDAMENTAL BASIS of my teaching. I use puppets, object lessons, media clips, illusions and you-name-it, I’ve used it, to creatively teach and engage children, but never as a replacement or substitute for teaching with and out of a Bible. ONLY THE BIBLE HAS GOD’S PROMISE OF EFFECTIVENESS. And yet, the Bible is a rare object in perhaps most children’s ministries today. This is a tragedy!

I have seen churches where none of the kids had Bibles, and when I tried to find some to pass out, or at least to use with 5-6 kids on stage for a Sword Drill - NONE COULD BE FOUND to use. Not in the well-equipped resource room, not in the library PACKED with books ABOUT the Bible, not even battered shameful looking Bibles on shelves in the back of the room. And this has happened over and over in churches around America.

Yes, the Bible is quoted in the PowerPoints, illustrated in the videos, taught through object lessons, acted out in puppet shows… but the Bible itself is mysteriously MIA in many churches! (Missing IN ACTION!)

I don’t care how attractive your ministry facility is, how innovative your program, how creative your teaching - if you are neglecting to teach kids the value of God’s Word by example (teaching with and from it) you ARE TEACHING THEM A LESSON: that the Bible really isn’t that important.

Kids learn by what they SEE - they need to see you teaching with and from an ACTUAL Bible. And the learn by what they DO - reading in and from an ACTUAL Bible.

If the only Bible they see are PowerPoint slides and cartoon re-enactments it is no wonder when they outgrow children’s ministry they outgrow the Bible too.

STEPS FOR ACTION: (If you are feeling even slightly convicted)

• Start reading your own Bible regularly, outside of lesson prep. (If you don’t already) As it impacts your own life, you will have a passion to share its wisdom and insights and power with those you teach!
• Teach with and from a Bible when you teach. You can even print your lesson plan on a half sheet and keep in the Bible so the children constantly see you picking up and looking into the Bible. Even if you are reading notes, the visual message is that the Bible is guiding your lesson.
• Encourage kids to bring their Bible to church. Reward occasionally with a treat - not every week - but occasionally so they know that bringing the Bible is important.
• HAVE KIDS USE THEIR BIBLES as part of your teaching. Don’t put every verse on the screen, just the reference or first half of the verse. Have them look it up. The awkward silence or pause in your “momentum” is worth it!
• Have kids stand up and read passages for you. Have someone there with a microphone if you have a large group.
• Do Sword Drills on the topic of your lesson. If you have a very large group, choose 8-10 kids to come on stage to participate. This not only gives them practical experience looking up verses it shows them that the Bible has a lot to say on the topic. You can give 4-5 sentence teaching moments after each verse read.
• Give Bibles to visitors or any child who doesn’t own one. Personalize it with a message from you about the importance of this book.
• Talk about things God taught you through the Word in your quiet time.
• Encourage kids to ask you questions about the Bible as they read.
• Provide reading plans or bookmarks to the children, reward progress as they read.
• Make the Bible something you and the children USE, not something you talk ABOUT.
• PRAY and ask God to give you creative ideas on how you can make the Bible more central to your teaching and programming.

If you have neglected the Bible in your passion to better reach and teach kids, don’t feel bad - but do something about it

As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

So is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Isaiah 55:10-11

The best way to get God into the hearts of kids, is to get His Word into their hearts!

Is not my word like fire,” declares the LORD, “and like a hammer that breaks a rock in pieces? Jeremiah 23:29

If you truly wants God power in your teaching - don’t just quote His Word - USE His Word!

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

We live in a day and age when there is no end to the new and innovative resources for children’s ministry (and that’s a good thing!) but it may just be the next best thing for your children’s ministry is to return to an emphasis on the Word of God - in practice - not just in word.

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Sitting in a workshop today in Little Rock, Arkansas I heard a brilliant thought as to why people leave the church. It is really a revolutionary thought. I think it is something that everyone will benefit from once they wrap their brain around it…seriously it’s good.

Before I share the idea I want to ask a question: Do you know what is expected of you by the church? I think most of us can come up with a list of general expectations that come from the church. Stand up when everyone else does, pay your tithe, sing loud, be nice, Love God, Accept Jesus - so on and so forth. We know what the church expects of us; know the expectations are helpful - but knowing the expectations without knowing how to do the expectations will bring frustration and failure.

That was the brilliant thought - WE TEACH IDEAS WITHOUT GIVING PRACTICAL WAYS TO DO THEM! Tell parents that they must disciple their kids - but do we tell them how? We tell kids they need to be a disciple - but do we tell them how? If we aren’t giving tools for parents, teachers and kids what those things mean or how to do them then it’s never going to happen. Why�

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Last night at church was a perfect reminder to me that kids need our time.

Our midweek service went well.

We had:

• A great praise and worship time.
• Fun large group game time. The kids loved it.
• A home-run lesson. The kids seemed to really understand and “get” what we were teaching.

Only one thing was a little off. One of our small group leaders was out of town on business, so I had to fill in to lead his small group. No big deal. The night was running smoothly with quick transitions. Everyone was having fun. Everyone except one 4th grade girl. On my way to lead the 2nd-3rd grade small group, she stopped me in my tracks and with a serious tone said, “Jen, can I ask you a personal question? Can we sit down for a minute to talk?” I could tell something was really bugging her, but I really didn’t have any time to give at that moment. I responded by saying, “Yes, but would it be okay to talk about it right after small group?” I was in a rush and I had to get to my group of kids. With my words, I showed that I care, but my actions showed that I was way too busy for her. Long story short, with the way that the evening turned out, I was not able to connect with her at the end of the night. I’ve been attempting to follow up with her today. God is showing me again and again that ministry is about people. Not about having the “perfect program”.

Time is every kid’s love language. Quality and quantity. It says, “I care about you.” “I’m listening to you.” “You are important to me.” “I know you’re having a problem, and I can pray for you… right now.” And when kids know that we care, it opens doors for us to lead them closer to Jesus.

How many opportunities have I missed?

Today, I am asking myself these questions:

1. Do we have any free space built into our ministry to connect with kids? If not during services, when?
2. Do we have enough leaders to effectively disciple kids? Do we have a good back-up plan?
3. Are we being good stewards of kids’ questions and personal stories- even when it doesn’t flow with our lesson?
4. Is our follow-up intentional?
5. What can we do to maximize our time with kids to show them that we love them- and, more importantly, that Jesus loves them?
6. How is your church doing in these areas?

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Jesus spent a lot of time with the disciples- just doing life together. They walked together, ate together, and visited together. Throughout the book of Matthew, we read phrases such as “When the disciples saw this, they…” or “When the disciples heard this, they…” They were reacting to real life moments that Jesus used to show the disciples who He was.

In Matthew 17, Jesus took Peter, James and John on a hike up a mountain and He was transfigured before them- His face shining like the sun. A voice from Heaven said “This is my beloved Son…” and “when they heard this” -out of fear and awe, Jesus’ friends nearly passed out!

In Matthew 21:18-22, hungry, Jesus tried to get something to eat from a fig tree with no fruit on it. He cursed it and it withered on the spot. “When they saw this”, the disciples’ mouths dropped wide open.

While Jesus was visiting at the house of Simon the leper, Mary poured very expensive perfume on Jesus’ head. When the disciples “saw this”, they became angry. This woman taught them about true devotion to Christ first-hand. Matthew 26:6-13

In Matthew 19, Jesus and the disciples bumped into the rich young ruler. The rich young ruler went away sad because he loved his possessions too much. The disciples were astounded, wondering, “Then who can be saved?”

Astonished. Afraid. Angry. Confused. The Disciples experienced life with Jesus. Just walking along, interacting with others and experiencing amazing things first-hand.

Here are my questions:

1.What do our kids get to see first- hand?

2. How can we help kids to experience their faith first-hand?

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On a recent trip out of town, I was missing my little boy so I did what many parents do, I dropped into a toy store to find a treat to bring home. I saw something rather fun (and affordable) and picked it up to bring home. It was called a Puffimal.

The idea is simple, a rubber ball/balloon that is in the shape of an animal. I picked the elephant and looked forward to giving to Luke. The instructions seemed simple enough:

Please note: so easy, right? All you have to do is “place mouth over the nozzle end and blow” - in fact, they even show a picture of a little boy inflating his Puffimal. This is blatant fraud and false advertising!

Not only could NO CHILD blow up this little toy, but not even a grown man who when he was twelve was told by his doctor that he had the lungs of a thirty year old due to his asthma. In fact, people often marvel that I easily inflate the long thin balloons used for balloon animals without a pump, since most adults can’t inflate them. But this Puffimal I could not do!

I about ruptured some veins in my brain and got a migrane trying. Finally, I went to the garage for some help…

And found a cheap foot pump that had come with some other inflatable toy. It worked, much to my relief and my little boy’s delight!

So now we have this fat round (trunkless) elephant bouncing around the house. In the end, still a good investment of a measly three dollars, but the instructions ought to read, “To inflate, avoid damage to your lungs and find a bicycle pump or mattress inflater and insert the pump into the nozzle end and inflate.”

THE POINT?

The manufactures of this product had a GREAT IDEA, a fun concept, good materials, attractive packaging, and a clear picture of the end result in mind… a child playing with a fun animal that would bounce around in unpredictable ways and last for a long time, and be reusable too! What they FORGOT TO DO was see if a child could actually do it! I wish there was a video of when they shot the promo picture above. I can see the boy trying to blow it up and when he couldn’t the photographer said, “Don’t worry about, just pretend.” (I wonder if it was actually tied off where you can’t see!)

DO WE EVER DO THE SAME IN MINISTRY?

Do we ever have this GREAT IDEA of what a good Christian kid should be like? Do we prepare good materials, create attractive ministry environments, and have a clear idea of what we are trying to accomplish, but we never check to see if kids can actually DO what we are expecting? We deliver these broad messages over a sea of children and get some great pictures - but do we know if they are able to actually LIVE IT on their own? Without our help? Can WE even do what we are expecting the children to? Or do we need help as well??

LET ME ENCOURAGE YOU to work one on one with a few kids so you can see what they are capable of. If you only minister to masses you may be offering a good, but faulty product. Working with a small group of children indivually will give you gret insight into what they can do, can’t do, or struggle with. The reason my wife and I wrote Awesome Adventure was to create a tool for discipling kids one on one, and to equip parents to disciple their own kids. If you are in a small church, seriously consider discipling a few individual children. If you are in a large church, you especially should consider discipling a child one on one, but also consider teaching a small group of kids. Take a class for the summer, develop a kids krew of a dozen kids you pour into, or offer a pastors class once a year. Don’t get so high above the kids that you are mass producing ministry and losing sight of the individual kids and what they can do, can’t do, struggle with, and the questions they are asking.

LOOK AT JESUS! He ministered to the masses, but he poured His life into a few individuals, and THEY are the ones who turned the world upside down when he left. It is the kids I have discipled one on one who are now in Bible college or in the ministry - the masses of kids I’ve taught are OK, but its the individual ones I invested in where I see the greatest fruit.

Don’t make the same mistake the creators of the Puffimals did!

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When you hear the word “DISCIPLESHIP”, what comes to mind?

It is a broad term that carries many different meanings to different people. I’m not looking for “right or wrong” answers, just what comes to mind? Just the first thing that POPS into your mind.

Post in comments please, just a sentence or two. 

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How many of you have taken a long trip? Personally I love road trips - let me take that back; I love going places. The process of getting somewhere is not always the best - you can get lost, run out of gas, hit traffic, etc. It can be very hectic.

I’ll never forget one particular road trip that I took with a friend of mine in High School. My friend and I were 16 & 17; our parents in a bold display of faith had decided to allow us to drive from Kettering, OH to Quincy, IL to visit a former Children’s Pastor of ours. (It was an exciting trip - the first time I ever drove over 100 MPH…ummm.) My friend’s grandpa had AAA so he got us one of those “trip tiks” where AAA walks you through the whole trip (very helpful - this was before GoogleMaps and Mapquest). They include everything on those - construction, mile markers, slow times to travel - EVERYTHING! Well almost everything. Being the young men that we were we didn’t pay attention to all of the details needed for a long trip - i.e. planning your gas stops so that you don’t run out between stations. We were dangerously close to running out of gas near Springfield, IL. Fortunately we came to an area that had 4 gas stations…but it was a funky cloverleaf looking thing that we couldn’t figure out. I tried to get off at what look like an exit, but it was actually an entrance fora different highway, so we turned around and tried again, and then again, and then one more time for good luck. All I was thinking was that we were going to ran out of gas within 1/2 mile of 3 gas stations because we couldn’t figure out how to get to them. God rescued us and we found out how to get to the Shell station - crisis avoided and the trip continued.

My road trip story is a funny anecdote now…but at the time it was a true crisis to me. I had the directions of how to get to my ultimate destination, but I had not idea how to get to some of the points in between that I would need. I believe that this is something our kids face in church and in life in general today. Any kid who grows up in church has an idea of what the general destination for their life should be - they need to grow up to be like the adult Christians around them. They need to learn how to be bold and strong in faith…but are they shown how to get there? Are they shown how to deal with the “gas crisis” they come across?

Discipleship has been a word thrown around for years - but what does it really look like? Do we have a plan? Do we have a “Trip-Tik” for getting kids from Beginning Believer to Mature Christian? It doesn’t matter what denomination you are; there are core values that all Christian Churches hold to be true. Why as a community of believers haven’t we come together like the public school system and come up with something that moves children along this road? This has been something I have struggled with for a couple of years now and I haven’t come up with an answer. The question I ask myself continually and the one I’m trying to work out for my ministry is: What’s the scope and sequence that I need to put in place for my kids to grow them up?

I think I have come up with a portion of the answer - I can’t develop one single plan that will move all my kids down the same path, but it is through Discipleship that I truly believe that this will be answered. And to me Discipleship is about relationship…how better to help map something for someone than to see where they are and help them find their way to where they need to be.

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One of the first visitors to this site had these comments on the discipleship of children:

I certainly have a desire to disciple children, but not in the traditional sense. I don’t see it as my job to disciple children. I see it as my job to equip and encourage parents to be those disciplers. I see kids for a couple of hours each week max. Mom & Dad need to be (Biblically & logically) the primary influencers. So, this leads me to my questions. Is DisipleLand designed to encourage and equip CP’s to equip parents? If so, what does that look like? If it’s designed for CP’s to equip kids, then what does that look like also? Is this program based, curriculum based, all of the above? Final question: how does blogging accomplish the goal? I’m sure I’m not asking questions you’ve already been asked, but this is what popped in my head when checking out the page. I like the concept but am looking for a little more clarification on what you see as the end result of DiscipleLand and how you plan to get there.

Jeramy

Excellent Questions! First of all, let me say I don’t even know what the “traditional sense” is - I’m not sure there IS one, seems the traditional thing to do is “Christian Education” - not disciple-making. I agree that parents ARE to be the primary disciplers of kids and we MUST intentionally equip them, but Jesus did give US the command to make disciples, not to “go equip parents to make disciples” - He wasn’t speaking exclusively to parents, He was speaking to all Christians, so we can’t get out of it that easily.

As for DiscipleLand, I can only answer as a user of the material and as a friend of DiscipleLand’s founder, Mark Steiner, having had many long conversation with him about discipleship and how DiscipleLand was born out of the need for a curriculum that did more than just teach the Bible. I would say YES, it is designed to equip parents to partner with the church in the disciple-making process from the in-home tools that work hand-in-glove with the classroom materials. Not only do they have the usual “take home” papers, but a poster that visually walks through each unit for the parents, Bible cards to help parents engage, and best of all (in this Webkins age) an online tool called DiscipleZone.com where parents and kids can continue the learning process together. I can’t wait until my little boy is old enough for the tools they provide for parents so that what I do in the home can be in concert with what is happening at the church.

For more about DiscipleLand, you can obviously check out their website at DiscipleLand.com. It is curriculum based, but unlike many other curriculums it goes beyond just teaching the Bible to include missions (world view), the Gospel (try finding that in most curriculums!) and disciple skills. They also have tools for one on one discipleship which is key for kids who don’t have Christian parents or who do, but need a voice outside the home to reinforce what is taught in the home.

The call to disciple kids is one that I think is neglected in our busy ministries because there is no easy way to program it into existence. As for your final question, the blogging won’t disciple kids, but we hope that it will challenge leaders to think about how (or if) they are truly discipling kids in the midst of all the busyness of ministry. Addressing the good questions you asked above are EXACTLY why this blog was started! Thanks for getting us off to a good start! There are no easy answers, so we NEED to wrestle with how we pursue the Great Commission in children’s ministry. The Great Commission is not for “missions” - it is for ministry! WE ARE the “ends of the earth” from where Jesus first made the command!

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“He’s Here,” stammered a volunteer who had tracked me down in the resource room making some photo copies. “Who?” I asked, sensing it was someone of great importance. Out of breath, all she could say was, “Him,” as she grabbed my arm and led me toward the rear entrance of the church. When I got there I joined others who stood there simply starring unsure how they should respond. There He was. It was as though one of those Sunday School posters had come to life; The long white robe, blue sash, warm smile and eyes that radiated a peace beyond description.

After stuttering through an awkward greeting, I asked the Master if He would like a tour of our children’s ministry. He simply nodded as I began to lead him around the church. Classes, already in session, hardly noticed my Guest as I lead Him through the hallways. I showed him our themed children’s ministry with murals and three-dimensional decorations. I showed him the video game consuls and the highlight videos playing on mounted flat screen monitors. I took him into our children’s church room that soon would be filled with children. I pointed out the projector and screen, the puppet stage, the sound booth and the prize store. After showing him all the rooms and ways we had invested to draw children and families to our church I concluded the tour out on the Noah’s Ark themed playground. After an awkward silence, the Teacher finally spoke.

“It is clear to me from all you have shown me that this is a place where children are loved and where you are willing to do much to creatively draw them to My house. But there is only one thing I have come to see. Please show me my disciples.”

I stammered, “What do you mean? We have led many children to You, and even now they are learning much about You and Your Father’s Word. Among these children, many of them are your disciples, my Lord.”

His next words were spoken with gentleness and love, but still ring in my ears. “You are doing many good things here, but I only asked you to do one thing. Go and make disciples.” And then He was engulfed in blinding light and vanished. The light continued to grow until I realized it was the early morning son awakening me on a Sunday morning.

At church that day I was in a daze as I looked over our happy children, so busy playing, learning and laughing. I kept asking myself, “Which were His disciples? Could I know?” I realized that Sunday I was not asked to draw children, teach children, or even save children. The Great Commission was to go into all the world and make disciples. Never again would I be content unless were Jesus to visit again, I could answer, “This one, my Lord, and that boy over there, and that girl sitting there.” I was done merely reaching and teaching children, from now on, my driving passion is to make disciples.

Jesus said to MAKE DISCIPLES… Are we? Could we point out His disciples to Him if He visited our church?

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